The International Schoolof Energy Medicine

Here are 10 principles to keep in mind when writing or thinking about Your Mission to find REAL LOVE

No matter what is happening in your life right now, whether you’re with a partner or single, happy or unhappy, the energy of LOVE is more powerful than any limitation or circumstance. Love surrounds us, everywhere and always, so it’s important to be love, feel love and enjoy love. Love is ever new joy, ever new bliss, magical, transformative, healing and inspiring

When I start to write this I thought of Charlie and LOVE is, then I remember a time when all I thought is Love isn’t this, not so inspiring, but we’ve all been there.

So Real Love is…

1. Unconditional. Conditional Love is when you are loved for what you have and what you do; it says, “I love you if you make me happy, fulfil my needs and meet my standards”. It demands perfection or that we mould ourselves to fit another’s expectations or preferences. In contrast, unconditional love says, “I love you no matter what; whether I am delighted or displeased, afraid or hopeful, agree or disagree- I give you my full heart and commitment because you are worthy of my love.

2. Authentic. Attracting real, lasting love means being authentic, wholehearted, present and honest: it means being courageous, transparent and vulnerable, revealing all of who you are, without changing for an ideal or another’s demands, or hiding the parts of yourself you deem unlovable. Choosing to love is an act of courage so be brave and bold in being exactly who you are so you can be appreciated, loved and cherished for your real self.

3. Choice.Making a commitment to love is a choice, it’s more than a feeling; it is a perception, action and choice. Feelings and thoughts are temporary and changeable, but if you want to attract lasting real love, you must give with love, whether it is returned or not, be love whether you feel it or not, and see love, even when you believe it is absent. 

4. Trust.If you trust yourself, it is easy to trust love: you’ll never have to blindly trust or fear loss and betrayal. Dedicate yourself to listening and following your inner knowing without hesitation, and believe your dream of love will happen.

5. Respect. If you respect yourself, it is easy to respect love: that sounds crazy, but it’s true – we think we respect love, but do we really?. We have been taught that it’s ok to say “If you loved me you would do….” Or think or say “That was not very loving of you” and all we are doing is putting forward our own misplaced concept of what love really is – you are not going to find real love unless you know what you are looking for and learn to respect it. It starts with learning to respect self.

6. Healing.Every love relationship serves a higher purpose, entering into your life to remind you of your wholeness. In the process, every wounded space in your personality separate from love is revealed: addictions, habits, fears, or lack of closure. Until you heal these fractures, love teaches through loss, hurt, regret, disappointment and pain. Healing frees you from this pain and helps you reclaim the gifts of love.

7. Take Absolute Responsibility. for yourself, your relationships, and your work. Part of TAR is taking responsibility for understanding emotional intelligence and its impact on your daily life. In turn this affects your work and your interactions with friends, family, co-workers, bosses and employees. Most importantly it has enormous effects on your ability to love and be loved. When you commit to doing everything to the best of your ability it starts to attract the same back and someone will want to love you to the best of their ability and provide the best for you. Again everything starts with you.

8. Tell the Absolute Complete Truth. An essential key for learning to love yourself and enrich your relationships is you must be able to share and express the absolute complete truth about yourself and your feelings. Telling the absolute complete truth is different from being honest or not lying. Many times we tell the truth, but leave out the important parts. Or, if you don’t like the truth you create a new truth.

For example

• Do you ever smile when you are really angry?
• Have you ever acted mean and angry when deep inside you were really afraid?
• Do you ever laugh and make light of something when you feel very sad and rejected?
• Have you ever blamed another when you were the one feeling guilty?
• Have you ever ‘rationalised’ behaviour to justify an action. (Grabbed a bar of chocolate on the go, because I just don’t have time to slow down to eat properly)

That is what I mean by not telling the absolute complete truth. Communicating the absolute complete truth about your feelings is essential. It is the first step in resolving emotional tension and enriching your relationships with others. Before you can communicate the truth about what you feel, you have to know what you are feeling in the first place.

Your ability to feel love is directly proportional to your ability to tell the absolute complete truth. The more truth you have in your life, the more love you will experience. We have all avoided honest relationships in order to protect ourselves from the truth. We have a sign up saying, “If you don’t tell me the truth, then I won’t tell you the truth.” These relationships can be easy and comfortable, but do no service to increasing your self-love and self-worth.

9. Make Your Peace. We all have had trauma, upsets and disappointments in our lives, many of us have huge stories about these events that keep replaying time and time again. In order to find and keep love in your life, you must commit to dealing with these and draw a line. In order to draw that line and make your peace with the past I would highly recommend that you invest in yourself and find someone that you can work with. If you wanted to get phsyically fit you would employ a fitness coach. If you want to find love then do the same with someone who can coach you to your goal.

10. You First.One of the first love relationship is with yourself. Worthiness comes from within and no amount of external validation can ever fill that. You must know yourself as a whole, complete and unconditionally worthy to attract the love you desire. Start to practice of self-love, self-awareness, self-care and self-trust, until every part of you knows how loved, lovable and loving, you are. 

 And lastly

Experiment and Enjoy. You know if we were prefect we wouldn’t be here, in order to bring about any change we need to trust ourselves enough to go out of our comfort zone and experiment a little, get our feet wet so to speak. When I did the above I met my husband, it was scary at first but as we got to know each other and used the information above to guide our way we built a strong and blissful relationship which is real and exciting. You too can experience that if you commit to yourself and experiment with real love in your heart.

To work with Pennie email her at pennie@acorntooak.org.uk

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