The International Schoolof Energy Medicine

First of all, I would like to thank Joanne for this question and I will try to answer it to the best of my ability.

It is difficult not to take this behaviour to heart especially when it comes from a loved one, close friend or associate. This behaviour tends to come from not being able to see beyond self at any one given time, people get stuck in what they think are their pressing needs and the drive to fulfil those needs takes precedence over everything else. At that moment they cannot see the big picture or have a real problem seeing the situation from anyone else point of view (they are stuck in their own delusions/story and unfortunately ego gone crazy). It maybe when someone thinks they are being asked to step up to the plate and change a behaviour which might take them out of their comfort zone, or they feel they have no idea how to do it and it may scare them or it maybe they feel they will lose something they would rather keep and lastly, they just can’t be bothered. Apathy hurts billions of people every minute of every day, whether that’s not bothering to answer a simple text, answering a request for help or going out of your way to be kind and thoughtful when you yourself are under stress and stretch to the limits.

If you experience selfish and mean spirited from someone else the first question to ask yourself is have I been selfish and mean spirited to anyone else (don’t just think on a personal level, think on a global level) Although others tend to mirror our own behaviour to some degree or other, that is not always the case. So, after reflecting on our own behaviour it’s important to remember that communication is king, and boundaries are the tools. When faced with such behaviour in others which of their needs do they feel you should be filling? What are they looking to you for? Do they feel you have let them down?...

Of course, this doesn’t make much sense to you right now, because you may not really know this person well. Yes, in one sense you are right, however from the big picture that’s not the case, as human’s we do not work in isolation, we are all part of the same energy field and when a part of that field is not working in harmony with the whole it caused a disturbance or dis-ease of the whole. (I know you must be thinking OMG right now, but that is the truth of this situation).

So, our job is to take responsibility for ourselves and help and support others do the same, if we do not appreciate someone else behaviour then we need to find a way to let them know. Not in an angry loud way, but with grace and patience and a committed way that will serve the whole. Learning to have difficult conversation and having boundaries is an art that takes some time to acquire – we all mess it up a few times, but with practice it becomes easier and more graceful. Being graceful doesn’t mean that you are a doormat, it means you know your own worth and take the necessary actions not to buy into or condone bad behaviour. One of the most liberating things I have learnt in my life is you can love someone, but not like the way they behave. Behaviour, is just behaviour and can change if a person is committed to do the inner work that allows those changes to manifest I their lives.

Hope this way helpful

In Divine Friendship

Pennie

To book a time to talk with me about the road to self-discovery please use the following link http://meetme.so/penniequailepearce

1. Adina Newton says:
   Sunday, 5 August 2018 at 10:40am

   It can be challenging to difference between the behaviour and the person, especially when the behaviour is challenging but I practice regularly by reminding myself of this.

2. Amy Gower says:
   Sunday, 5 August 2018 at 11:07am

   Still practicing and learning this - calling people up on behaviour that isn't particularly helpful or serving. But as you have taught me before, sometimes its just 10 seconds of insane courage to speak your truth about how you really feel. Big big breaths on this one ha.

3. Sarah says:
   Sunday, 5 August 2018 at 6:57pm

   Hi Pennie, great blog.......and have found a piece of gold, one sentence which resenates and explains so much of my not so helpful behaviour.........that is that I find it almost unbearable to have difficult conversations and will use all sorts of behaviour to avoid them ........I only just realised ..... Thank you xx

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